Saturday, January 21, 2012

Back in the Saddle

My maternity leave came to a screeching halt on Monday morning as my alarm clock rang at 6am. Part of me felt excited about going back to work & another part of me was not at all ready & felt very sad that the one-on-0ne time I had with my kids was coming to an end.

The nine weeks went by incredibly fast. Way too fast.

Almost as fast as Cameron cruises in his Lightening McQueen!

I was very sad and anxious last Sunday. The idea of leaving my baby girl after being home with her 24 hours a day felt very overwhelming.

And I also had so much fun spending time with my first born. He is my best buddy & we have so much fun together. We really get each other!

I thought back to how I felt when I was working full-time with just Cameron. Many, many times I felt that there were never enough hours in the day to get things done or spend quality time with my child. If that was the case with Cam alone, what was it going to be like with another baby? Luckily my MIL is still here & I'm able to ease more gently into things. After she leaves, my little girl has to go to daycare & that will be another hurdle to jump.

My first week back went fairly well, but I definitely felt very overwhelmed at times. I'm not super woman & I cannot do it all. We're working through the obstacles & tweaking our schedule as things come up. I'm realizing that we need to plan our weekly dinner menu & grocery shop on Sundays because there is just no time after work. By the time I get home, wash & sterilize all of my pumping bottles, cook, clean, do baths & the million other things that need to be done, I have little left in me. I'm trying to take things one day & moment at a time & stop looking ahead because that makes things seem so much more overwhelming.

I know that things will get easier as we find a stronger routine, but I hope I can keep a positive attitude through it. I just want to feel like I'm doing a good job in each role I play. My first priority in everything is my family & keeping them number one is my biggest concern!

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1 comment:

  1. I cannot even imagine having to go back to work right now... It's perfect timing that Mike's mom is here to help with the transition. :) Praying that God will help "calm your anxious heart," and that you guys will find a routine and schedule that allows you to be your best in every arena of your life. Let me know if you need anything... I'm just a few houses away!