I wish I was someone that could do things without complaining but I'm just not. I try so hard, but fail so miserably. I know Mike's foot is hurting & it's not his fault, but I've gotten annoyed with him a lot this week. Working in a hospital has given me a lot to think about because I see spouses stand by their sick loved ones all day & they seem to handle it so much better than I have. I'm ashamed of myself for being so selfish at times & worrying about how tired I am instead of how much pain Mike is in. Not to mention that I'm so distracted with the kids that I've forgotten about him sometimes. Sunday night I realized I hadn't offered to get him water in hours... poor guy was too afraid to ask the she-devil for a refill. He probably thought my head would start spinning around.
I'm trying to work through the pity party I've thrown myself this week. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I compare my life to others & the grass can seem greener on the other side. That mom may seem like they have it all together.. perfectly behaved kids that gobble up their organic fruits & vegetables, a house that is perfectly organized & clean, children that are dressed in trendy clothes & plenty of quality time spent with their kids, doing interesting crafts & baking cookies. Then I see myself, running ragged, quickly feeding my kids, throwing clothes on them & zipping off to day care only to pick them up, zip home, shove some more food in their mouths & race the clock to get them into bed on time. It can make me feel like a really crummy mom sometimes. Then I take my frustrations out on Mike, only to feel even crummier. In my mind, I'd love for my house to look like a picture out of Real Simple magazine with me in the kitchen whipping up batches of baby food for Reese, healthy snacks for Cam & greeting Mike with a calm smile & a cold beverage! Instead I'm a dietitian who has a child that would rather do anything than eat a single vegetable, running around like a nut job from one task to the next while snapping at my husband for being unable to help me.
So yeah, that's the week I've had. Lots of near-tears moments over here in the loony bin that is my head! But, when it comes down to it, I know I do have it all.
Even though things aren't always picture perfect, I have a husband who loves me crazy & all & two beautiful, healthy kids that bring SO MUCH love & joy into my life. It's just a matter of remembering that when the going gets tough. That can be easier said than done though. Perspective... I need a little dash of that in my work week! But, I made it. The weekend is here & it's time to stop, take a deep breath & enjoy life. Happy Friday!