Saturday night my beloved Grandma Schuth passed away. It still hasn't truly sunk in that I'll never be able to hug her, laugh with her or enjoy our talks again while my time in this world continues. My heart is feeling empty at that thought & I can't stop the tears when I think about it. I have dreaded this moment for a really long time. Even when my grandma was younger, I couldn't bear to think about life without her.
My faith brings me comfort during this time, knowing that I'll one day reunite with my grandma & never have to be without her again makes it feel less painful.
And knowing that she's back with my grandpa, the man she was so devoted to, also brings me happiness. My grandpa passed away when my dad was only a teenager & my grandma was left to finish raising the last of her eight children who remained at home. She never even considered the idea of ever dating another man again, saying, I met the man of my dreams & no one will ever live up to him.
She's also back in the arms of her son & my Uncle George who passed away when I was little.
And I am so thankful that my son was able to meet this amazing woman, the woman who played such a huge role in my life. I will never ever forget my grandma & all that she's done for me & all the wonderful memories I will cherish forever. The times we worked together at my mom & dad's business & laughed so hard we nearly peed in our pants. She'd push me around my parent's huge shop in the grocery cart we borrowed from the store across the street. And as I became an adult, I'd go to her house straight from work on Thursdays & take a long weekend to go shopping & have a sleep over. It was so great to relax & enjoy our evening together, watching the shows my grandma loved. Then in the morning my grandma would always tip toe in my room & wake me up & make sure I had the breakfast I wanted. She was always such a wonderful hostess when I'd spend time at her house. My favorite times were just sitting on her porch & talking. Though there was such an age difference between us, we had an unbelievable amount in common. It's just too hard to imagine never having another moment with her again. For now, anyway.
So let's all just remember to cherish the moments we have with our loved ones because we never know when there will be no more. I'm dreading the days to come & getting through Thursday & Friday. It's going to be so hard to see my grandma with no life in her. To see her yet not be able to talk to her. But I do know she'll be there in spirit & she'll realize just how many people love her & will miss her so. I'm just so thankful that Mike & Cameron are coming with me; their support will help get me through. And of course my immensely large family will all reunite & be there because of the one woman who was responsible for creating all of those lives.
Grandma, you have no idea how much you will be missed. I'll continue to talk to you in my prayers because I know you'll be listening. You are the best and I love you with all of my heart & I always will. Say hi to Grandpa for me!