Yesterday after I finished my lunch at work, I noticed that I'd missed a call from my dad. After listening to his voice message, my heart absolutely sank as he told me it was important that I call him back right away. I immediately knew he was going to have bad news about my Grandma Schuth since she had only been discharged from the hospital a few days earlier because of pneumonia & anemia. I called him back & my fears were confirmed.
As my Uncle Keith visited my gram at her assisted living facility yesterday, she suddenly collapsed. My precious, wonderful, amazing grandma had to be resuscitated in the ambulance on the way to the ER. The rest of the day was an emotional blur as I continued to receive bits and pieces of updates from my family in Illinois.
Before going to bed last night, I fell to my knees, prayed to God & talked to my grandma. I asked God that no matter what his plan may be, that my grandma please be comfortable. I talked to my grandma & reminded her of how much I love her & that even though I may be over a thousand miles away, I was right there with her. My gram & I have always had an amazingly close & connected relationship. We've always just gotten each other.
I awoke this morning with a splitting headache, puffy eyes & a weight on my chest, unsure of what news would be coming our way. My dad flew to Chicago this morning so I knew he'd be reporting back as soon as he could. My cousin has also kept me updated which I greatly appreciate & fortunately we have been blessed with positive news thus far. My grandma is still on a ventilator, breathing on her own at times & given a rest at other times with the help of the vent. She is responding to pain & able to move around & squeeze my family member's hands, but overall, she's still unresponsive & basically in a coma. Since her heart did stop working at one point, cutting blood flow off to her brain, the doctors can't yet tell us exactly what to expect. So far things are looking positive, but only time will truly tell.
I am cautiously hopeful at this time; feeling blessed to hear positive updates while knowing that my grandma is not out of the woods. My main concern is my grandma's comfort. Of course I want nothing more in this world than to see my grandma fully recover & bounce back from this, but that's in God's hands. Whatever He decides, I just hope she'll never have to suffer. My heart is feeling heavy & broken as I type this & I have a million thoughts & emotions swirling through my head. I am confident that my grandma knows how much I adore her, but the greedy part in me just wants to be able to hug & kiss her again & to see her sweet smile. I'm praying that God keeps giving me & my family strength as we face each hour of each day & I pray that He is with my grandma. My thoughts & prayers are also with my Aunt Bernice who is mentally handicapped & has always lived with my grandma. I pray that God be with her, no matter what the outcome. I'm absolutely terrified of what the days ahead may bring, but I will continue to pray & keep my grandma close to my heart where she has always been.