Friday, March 23, 2012

I made it..

It's Friday night... it's here.. I actually made it. Wow, this has been the hardest week I've had since I can remember. Mike's foot is still crummy. He's walking but with a very good limp. After going to the podiatrist on Monday, the doctor was pretty positive it's gout which is a buildup of uric acid in the joints. With him out of commission, it's made me realize just how hard single moms work. I don't know how they do it because it's exhausting! I am bone tired from running from six in the morning until ten at night pretty much every day this week. My stomach is in knots from living on adrenaline & I'm just a ball of anxiety these days. The worst part is that Reese was sick all week & sleeping terribly. Monday night I got about two hours of broken sleep & then had an insane day at work the next day. I look like a mess with black circles under my eyes, but at least it's Friday & I'm relaxing at home with my family.

I wish I was someone that could do things without complaining but I'm just not. I try so hard, but fail so miserably. I know Mike's foot is hurting & it's not his fault, but I've gotten annoyed with him a lot this week. Working in a hospital has given me a lot to think about because I see spouses stand by their sick loved ones all day & they seem to handle it so much better than I have. I'm ashamed of myself for being so selfish at times & worrying about how tired I am instead of how much pain Mike is in. Not to mention that I'm so distracted with the kids that I've forgotten about him sometimes. Sunday night I realized I hadn't offered to get him water in hours... poor guy was too afraid to ask the she-devil for a refill. He probably thought my head would start spinning around.

I'm trying to work through the pity party I've thrown myself this week. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I compare my life to others & the grass can seem greener on the other side. That mom may seem like they have it all together.. perfectly behaved kids that gobble up their organic fruits & vegetables, a house that is perfectly organized & clean, children that are dressed in trendy clothes & plenty of quality time spent with their kids, doing interesting crafts & baking cookies. Then I see myself, running ragged, quickly feeding my kids, throwing clothes on them & zipping off to day care only to pick them up, zip home, shove some more food in their mouths & race the clock to get them into bed on time. It can make me feel like a really crummy mom sometimes. Then I take my frustrations out on Mike, only to feel even crummier. In my mind, I'd love for my house to look like a picture out of Real Simple magazine with me in the kitchen whipping up batches of baby food for Reese, healthy snacks for Cam & greeting Mike with a calm smile & a cold beverage! Instead I'm a dietitian who has a child that would rather do anything than eat a single vegetable, running around like a nut job from one task to the next while snapping at my husband for being unable to help me.

So yeah, that's the week I've had. Lots of near-tears moments over here in the loony bin that is my head! But, when it comes down to it, I know I do have it all.

Even though things aren't always picture perfect, I have a husband who loves me crazy & all & two beautiful, healthy kids that bring SO MUCH love & joy into my life. It's just a matter of remembering that when the going gets tough. That can be easier said than done though. Perspective... I need a little dash of that in my work week! But, I made it. The weekend is here & it's time to stop, take a deep breath & enjoy life. Happy Friday!

post signature


  1. LOL First things first, your vision of a perfect home do not exist! It's impossible to do all that, perfect kids, perfect home, crafts, etc. Unless you have a nanny, housekeeper and personal assistant. I have to say that the majority of moms feel frazzled, overwhelmed and stressed - regardless of if they work or not. Motherhood is demanding and no matter what we do tend to shoulder a bigger load. I read recently that "you can do anything, but you can't do everything." Try to keep that in mind. It helps me to identify my priorities. If I want to do something quality w/ the kids like go to the zoo, then my house will probably be a mess. If I want to clean the house, then I probably won't get a shower or makeup on. I too want my house to look like a magazine. Its not realistic. I have yet to give up the dream, however, and it makes me crazy everyday. You can't live that way with 2 kids, a cat, and a husband who doesn't have the same dream! :) And I'll tell you that I have not one met Mark at the door with a cold beverage! HAHA. I wouldn't change being home w/ the kids for anything, but it is seriously tiring and I do the same thing of taking my frustrations out because my husband has had his own time all day, a peaceful lunch, bathroom breaks without 1 or 2 children watching, etc. But it's all relative. He doesn't think his day is easy. This is the #1 reason I have stopped looking at Facebook or other people's blogs much, because it is easy to think everyone else has it all together. And they don't! :) Hang in there love! And get Mike a nice scooter that he can drive around the house in. Kiss his foot for me. (Uhh maybe not.)

  2. Everything Lesli said is spot on. Us Moms & Wives have can do anything but not everything. We often have unrealistic expectations of what we think our home & family life should be. Today, I will have to make the choice... Clean my filthy house? Or get out and enjoy a beautiful day. I'm sorry Mike's foot is in such bad shape. Try to relax this weekend Allison. Hang in there.

  3. Thanks, gals, I appreciate the words of encouragement. When I'm feeling low, it's easy to feel like everyone else has it more together than I do. I need to cut myself a break every now & then. We're all doing a great job at this Mommy thing!!

  4. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling right now... it IS a Balancing Act, isn't it?! There's a lot going on in your life right now, but you are doing GREAT, and you are so right... you do have it all! A happy, healthy (except for Mike's darn foot!!), beautiful family! Try to enjoy those little priceless moments, as I know you do!