It's my opinion that a marriage always needs TLC in order to stay successful. It's very easy to fall into a monotonous routine where you slowly begin to drift apart before you even noticed a problem. Put a baby into the mix & it's that much easier to fall apart. Some people may be fooled into thinking that a baby will bring an already troubled relationship together when it will actually do the opposite. I feel lucky knowing that our relationship was strong when Cam entered this world. Having a baby instantly spins your life in a whole new direction & sleepless night, after sleepless night causes your priorities to shift. I personally went into survival mode when Cameron came along; taking a shower & getting dressed would equate to a successful day. Sexy is the LAST thought that came to mind after Cam was born; swollen, leaky boobs anyone? Ripped up who-ha after pushing out a baby whose head circumference happens to be in the 98th percentile? Stay far, far away, hubby!
Now that I'm back to work full-time, it's definitely a challenge to live up to my almost impossible standards. By the time Mike & I get home, it's a mad rush to get Cam fed, bathed, spend time playing, etc, etc, etc. By the time the dust settles, it leaves very little downtime for the two of us to connect. Not to mention that we both like to do separate things to wind down; I'm a reader or I watch my own shows, Mike likes the internet, X-box & shows I'm just not into. Before I know it, Thursday rolls around when I realize that we haven't spend any quality time together.
One of the many baby books I have read is Babywise & I completely agree with their philosophy that "great marriages create great parents." Not only marriages, but also other relationships; the fact that I'm now a mom doesn't mean I'm no longer a friend, daughter, career-woman, etc! I have always vowed to keep my own identity after having children & so far I think I'm doing a decent job of it. Not to say that I don't struggle with guilt or question myself on a daily basis; am I ever doing enough?? Will I ever be completely satisfied?
no we won't be satisified ever! it's called mommy guilt and it's permanent. if you shower you should have cleaned the house. if you spend time w/ the baby you should be exercising. blah blah blah. i wish i would have read this post around 10 pm last night when i had been upstairs consoling our "difficult to sleep" baby for an hour a freaking half while her father unknowingly sat downstairs watching his tv programs and relaxing while i cursed him under my breath for not coming to help me! ugh!!! they say the first year of marriage is the hardest. well THEY were wrong. the first year of having a kid has to be the hardest. the first year of marriage was a breeze. if we can make it thru this we can make it thru anything!!! we're almost there.
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